I tend to be afraid of dating people I have high chemistry with.
Going as far back as my first girlfriend, it even makes sense back then. As much as I think highly of our chemistry ... I was extremely in control in the relationship, and never really let her take the reins, so to speak. It's far easier for me to try to give and please than to be pleased, I think. I noticed this even with regards to light bondage/domination: I feel a need to be actively pleasing my partner, and tend to feel disconnected if I'm not getting that response.
It's true that I might actively (really actively) enjoy the aggressive woman, but initially at least I find myself a little more emotionally resistant. That of course turns out to be highly problematic because I for one have a high(?) libido. Or perhaps just guy-normal. Generally I've been lucky to be with girls who also have a high libido: people who think that not being intimate at least twice a week means that the relationship is starting to show serious cracks. But because I'm dumb enough to be a little less available to the aggressive woman, I've been less likely to be with someone who's ... as avidly interested in affection, appreciation, and making out.
We're all going to die soon. It's terrible. So when I'm with a beautiful intelligent funny woman and the world is full of joy --- I want to find a wall to stand against and work on some yoga poses.
I really thought that at some point that my personality would get a little less semi-hyperactive / enthused with life and that I would be a Normal Guy. I envy those guys that are truly mellow, but it hasn't been in me to be that guy.
It kind of makes sense that if I'm not that mellow normal guy by now, I shouldn't expect that I'm going to be that guy. And maybe I shouldn't set myself to need to grow into that kind of normal guy.