... and then I found out that she was having a baby. That she'd temporarily given up on finding a husband and instead arranged to share a child with a gay friend. That tends to blend in with the 'driven' picture I have of her, but it's still startling. How could someone so excellent be unable to find the right partner?
I'd been painting onesies for friends, so when I went down to California this past weekend I ... almost magically got to have lunch with her and present her with some I'd made for her. I'm still lightly shocked that she said yes to lunch, but I was tickled pink. I sat there across from her and there was almost too much to catch up on, so it stayed a shallow-ish conversation - but she's still close to intimidating. And I still felt that hanging around with people like her would be a good life plan.
I can show you a nice roadmap of why I'm still Single, but her? I'm baffled.
I was pretty chuffed. I've always felt like a mediocre dancer, so it's highly pleasing to get complimented. Even if the dance is about as simple as the Salmon Dance, it's still fun.
I'm too deferential and reserved to take forefront in many conversations. I get out of the habit of talking and so when I do talk, it's too quick and too quiet, making my contributions that much less valuable.
I guess that helps build a reputation as a semidecent listener. It's what I'm used to. But it also means that I'm lame at one of the fundamental aspects of self-expression. I let myself get rolled over, buffaloed by others, and find myeslf caught within the contrails of others.
What do I want? How do I want to drive my own life - and my own conversations?
Sometimes I go whole days listening, bored, half sleepThe great thing about noticing that you're fucking up is that you're still alive and still have time to work on it.
I won't say anything that's worth a thing to me
One day, suddenly, time took a turn that once felt so brief
I blinked to see polite ghosts fading quickly
-School of Seven Bells, Half Asleep
I'm presuming that this week will be much less eventful.
Dad's at home resting now and is on the mend.
I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this, and am happy I lived long enough to find it out. --Roger Ebert
I'm working on being more petulant. I enjoy life too much, so find that I'm pretty willing to let everything work itself over (non-infinite!) time as opposed to demanding gratification.
Perhaps gratification is important.
Egads, man. Hopefully this is one of many solid reminders to high-income people everywhere to save your money for a rainy day and work on building a solid career. This is definitely old news to many, but the editing of Wikipedia is a new twist. =\
Transformers 2 is one of the worst movies it's been my displeasure to see. It's so confusingly bad that it's hard to understand why nobody spoke up and pointed out that the emperor wasn't wearing any clothes during production. Jose had warned me that the movie was bad, but I went anyways. And suffered through a shambling illogical plotless developmentless CGI screensaver of a movie. I went in expecting a horrible movie and was still impressed at how bad it was, even with the glossy sheen of hundreds of millions of dollars thrown at it.
I was pleased that my protest seemed well received. I got some thumbs ups, some high fives, and got to talk about movies and merits of movies with interesting people. I feel like I saved some people a waste of money and time. My sign read "Transformers 2 is a terrible movie! See up or hangover instead" (trying to be constructive here). We left the sign out on the ticket kiosk during the movie, and I was pleased as punch that it was still there when we got out of The Hangover. I ended up taking it to Bre's concert later (using it to warn people in Ballard while walking to the tavern), and made a "Happy Birthday" sign out of the other side of it.
All in all, quite fun. I think this new plan to have protest sign materials always on hand in my car may work out well.